Valentine: "You know what this is like? It's like those old movies we both love. Now I'm going to tell you my whole plan, and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape."
Harry Hart: "Sounds good to me."
Valentine: "Well this ain't that kind of movie."
"I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam."
[To church woman]
Harry Hart: "I'll have the Big Mac, please."
Valentine: "Great choice. But nothing beats two cheeseburgers with secret sauce. Goes great with this '45 Lafitte."
Harry Hart: "A classic pairing. And may I suggest Twinkies and a 1937 Chateau d'Yquem for pudding?"
Valentine: "I like it."