Hancock * Quotes

Spectator: "I can smell alcohol on your breath!"
Hancock: "That's cause I've been drinking bitch!"

Ray: "Did you shove a man's head up another man's ass?"
Hancock: [nodding] "mhh.."

Hancock: "The way you deal with bullies... you take your right foot, bring it right up and catch him in his little piss pump."
Mary: "You don't have to do that, honey. Okay? Seriously."
Aaron: "It's a good idea."
Hancock: "You aim straight, make sure he can't use that thing for nothin' but a flap to keep the dust out of his butt crack."

"You're an asshole. I know. I call it like I see it, though. It's not a crime to be an asshole, but it's very counter-productive."

Hancock: "All of you people, blocking the intersection, you're all idiots."
Spectator #1: "You're the one that threw the dude's car at her. And what's with the train?"
Spectator #2: "Why didn't you just go straight up in the air with the car? You've obviously injured that poor woman."
Spectator #3: "She's right. She should sue you."
Hancock: "Okay. Well, you should sue McDonald's, 'cause they fucked you up."

[Hancock arrives at a pinned down female cop]
Hancock: "Good job! Do I have permission to touch your body?"
Female Cop: "Yes!"
Hancock: "It's not sexual. Not that you're not an attractive woman. You're actually a very attractive woman and..."
Female Cop: [screams] "Get me the hell out of here!"

"Gotta wonder, though. What kind of bastard must I have been, that nobody was there to claim me? I mean, I'm... I'm not the most charming guy in the world, so I've been told, but... nobody?"