Absolutely Anything - Trailer english

"The London Underground is worse than anything we did in Guantanamo."

Fenella: "You're not blind!"
Neil: "I prefer the term optically challanged."

"I can do ANYTHING! Okay... bu... but... what do I *really* want?
[Looking down and laughing]
Give me a really big dick!!
[he falls over]
Augh! ouch! Not *that* big! Obviously! Dick, return to your old size!
[Gets back up]
Agh! Ah... Ok. Um... Let me have a penis that women find exciting!
[he looks down]
Yeah, it's good, yeah. Could I have it white?"