Arliss Howard

Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "How tall are you, private?"
Pvt. Cowboy: "Sir, five-foot-nine, sir."
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!"

Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "Where the hell are you from anyway, private?"
Pvt. Cowboy: "Sir, Texas, sir."
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Pvt. Cowboy, and you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?"
Pvt. Cowboy: "Sir, no, sir!"
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "Are you a peter puffer?"
Pvt. Cowboy: "Sir, no, sir!"
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "I bet you're the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you!"

Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "What's your excuse?"
Pvt. Cowboy: "Sir, excuse for what, sir?"
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "I'm asking the fucking questions here, private! Do you understand?"
Pvt. Cowboy: "Sir, yes, sir."
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: "Well, thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?"
Pvt. Cowboy: "Sir, yes, sir."

Pvt. Cowboy: "Don't shit me, man!"
Pvt. Joker: "I wouldn't shit you. You're my favorite turd!"

"I hate Vietnam. There's not one horse in this whole country. There's not one horse in Vietnam. There's somethin' basically wrong with that."

"I think what she's trying to say is that you black boys pack too much meat."

Pvt. Joker: "I wanna slip my tube steak into your sister. What'll you take in trade?"
Pvt. Cowboy: "What do you got?"

"We're the Lust Hog Squad. We're life takers and heartbreakers. We shoot 'em full of holes and fill 'em full of lead."