Dexter Fletcher

Eddie: "They're armed."
Soap: "What was that? Armed? What do you mean armed? Armed with what?"
Eddie:" Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!"

"A minute ago this was the safest job in the world. Now it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia."

Soap: "What do they say about assumption being the brother of all fuck-ups?"
Tom: "It's the mother of all fuck-ups, stupid!"
Soap: "Brother, mother, any other sucker. It don't make any difference. They're still fucking guns and they still fire fucking bullets!"

Soap: "I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid."
Tom: "You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles."

"You're not funny, Tom. You're fat, and look as though you should be, but you're not."

"A little bit of pain never hurt anybody, if you know what I mean."

Soap: "Rory Breaker? That psychotic black dwarf with an Afro?"
Tom: "That would be the same man, yes."

Soap: "You mean to tell me that the only thing connecting us with the murders is in the back of your car which is parked outside?"
Tom: "They cost me 700 quid. I'm not just going to throw them away. They're hardly likely to trace 'em back to us, now are they?"
Soap: "You really think it's worth taking the risk for 700 pounds? Tom, you're a dick."