Harold Ramis

Louis Tully: "Your Honor, ladies and gentleman of the audience, I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds. Sure, the blackout was a big problem for everybody. I was trapped in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them. Because one time, I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you."
Egon: "Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless."

Egon: "Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610."
Peter Venkman: "105 years old, he hung in there, didn't he?"
Ray: "He didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disembowled, drawn and quartered."
Peter Venkman: "Ouch."
Winston: "Guess he wasn't too popular at the end, huh?"
Egon: "No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, and Vigo the Unholy."
Peter Venkman: "Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?"
Ray: "And dig this, there was a prophecy. Just before his head died, his last words were 'Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back."

Egon: "I'd like to run some gynecological tests on the mother."
Peter Venkman: "Who wouldn't?"

Raymond: "You think there's a connection between this Vigo character and the... slime?"
Egon: "Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?"

Raymond: "You mean you never even had a Slinky?"
Egon: "We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it."

Peter: "Hi, Egon. How's school? I bet those science chicks really dig that large cranium of yours, huh?"
Egon: "I think they're more interested in my epididymis."

Egon Spengler: "Venkman, get a stool sample."
Peter Venkman: "Business, or personal?"