Sofía Vergara

Daniella Riva: "What is that white thing?"
Cooper: "Oh, that's my underwear."
Daniella Riva: "That's no underwear. That's a diaper!"
Cooper: "I like a lot of coverage."

Cooper: "Mrs. Riva, I'm Officer Cooper. I'm here to escort you to Dallas. You must have not seen me."
Daniella Riva: "Oh, I saw you. I was trying to hit your flat ass."
Cooper: "Mrs. Riva, I am a police officer."
Daniella Riva: "Oh please! Look at you! You are teeny tiny! You look like a little dog that I can put in my purse."
Cooper: "I can assure you, ma'am, that I meet the minimum height requirement of an adult female my weight."

News Reporter: "Officer Cooper stands at four feet, 11 inches."
Cooper: "Oh, come on!"
News Reporter: "The other suspect, a 45-year-old Latino woman."
Daniella Riva: "45? My madre!..."
News Reporter: O"fficer Cooper is four feet, nine inches."
Cooper: "I am five-foot, two."
News Reporter: "Traveling with a 50-year-old suspect."

Cooper: "You're in danger, ma'am, but everything's going to be fine."
Daniella Riva: "What about my husband?"
Cooper: "Everything but your husband's going to be fine."
Daniella Riva: "Aaahhhhh!"

Cooper: "We have to get out of this car right now or they're going to kill us both. Follow me... Mrs. Riva is having some problems with some lady business."
Police Officer: "Can't she just hold it?"
Daniella Riva: "No, you see, once a month it sheds its lining."
Cooper: "It sheds!"
Daniella Riva: "So that the eggs descend into the..."
Det. Hauser: "Oh my God!"

Cooper: "You don't have to like me but I'm your best chance at surviving... What the heck is that?"
Daniella Riva: "Philippe must have put baking powder in the car.
Cooper: How much baking powder?"
Daniella Riva: "I don't know, maybe like 42 kilos."
Trucker: "Hey, are y'all okay? I took that turn way too fast. What the heck is this white stuff?
Cooper, Daniella Riva: Baking powder."
Cooper: "We're bakers, muffins, toast, cakes."
Trucker: "I should call the police."
Cooper: "No, I am the mother f'in police. Don't you see? There's no major damage here. You're free to go."
Trucker: "But I destroyed your car."

"In my country when a man gets down on one knee, it's because he either wants to get married or he's been shot. Sometimes it's both."