Tina Fey

Wendy: "You know, sleeping with your shrink doesn't make a relationship expert."
Philip: "I know, but I'm an expert in you."

Kim Baker: "I'm wondering if you can give me something... on background, just about the security situation here and the state of the war in general."
General Hollanek: "Yeah, I can give you something... this war's like fucking a gorilla, you keep on going until the gorilla wants to stop."
Kim Baker: "I think I can paraphrase that."
General Hollanek: "Knock yourself out."

"You need to get a baby into her like... Yesterday."

"Love causes cancer, like everything else. But it is still love, it has it's moments."

Phillip: "I'm trying to be complicated, are you proud of me?"
Wendy: "How does it feel?"
Phillip: "Complicated."

"You guys are idiots, but you are my idiots..."

Judd: "Three months ago I had a great job and a nice apartment and I was in love with my wife."
Wendy: "No, you weren't."
Judd: "No?"
Wendy: "No. She was sleeping with somebody else for a year and you never noticed... How in love could you have been?"
Judd: "Yep... That's fair."

Judd: "I don't understand the Shiva. Mom's not even Jewish, and dad was an atheist."
Wendy: "A Jewish atheist, and this is what he wanted."