The Night Before * Quotes

"Gentlemen, fourteen years ago on this very night I lost my parents, and you guys have been with me every single Christmas since then. But tonight we have decided to end this tradition. Chris is just too f*cking famous to hang out with us anymore, and Isaac's about to have a baby."

Cindy's Daughter #1: "What's Hanukkah?"
Isaac: "Hanukkah is Jewish, like me."
Cindy's Daughter #2: "Is that why you look different?"
Isaac: "What was that? Come again?"
Cindy's Daughter #1: "You just look funny."
Isaac: "I look funny? Have you ever seen the shining?"
Betsy: "You're gonna be a great father."

Sarah: "You guys missed her singing Miley Cyrus. She destroyed 'Wrecking Ball'"
Ethan: "You still like that song?"
Diana: "Everybody does."
Sarah: "You can cry to it, you can run to it."
Diana: "Yeah."
Sarah: "You can party to it."
Isaac: "It's timeless!"

Besty: "Don't you dare throw up in here. Swallow it like a girl would."
Isaac: "I need a barf bag!"
Besty: "There's no barf bags! There's no barf bags! Stop it! There's no barf bags in there!"
[Isaac vomits as he stands in the middle of the church, everyone looks horrified]
Besty: "Is it still happening?"
Cindy: "It's still happening a little, yeah."
Isaac: [running and shouting] "We did not kill Jesus! We did not do that!"

"Gentlemen, this is our last Christmas together. Isaac's sacrificing his whole life and Chris is just too f*cking famous."

Rebecca: "Dude, I am such a fan."
Chris: "Wow."
Rebecca: "Sorry. I'm like jizzing all over you. I'm getting like jizzy. Sorry."
Chris: "No, no, no. Jizz all over me, I like that shit"

Besty: "You have been such a rock throughout this whole pregnancy. You're like my Dwayne Johnson."
Isaac: "Thank you."
Besty: "So tonight just focus on yourself. [hands him a present9"
Isaac: "Holy shit! Shrooms. Is this cocaine? We haven't done cocaine for eleven years I don't think."
Besty: "Yeah, no one has. I don't think."
Isaac: "Holy f*ck."