Jillian Bell

"Hey, Santa, want to party?"

"Why don't you just take a punch and just go down? Play dead like possums do or anything that's like a pussy animal."

Andy Campbell: "Holly, you're guidance counselor. You're not doing meth again, right?"
Holly: "Yeah. Yeah, just a little bit."
Andy Campbell: "Don't do meth."
Holly: "Because it's the gateway."
Andy Campbell: "It's the finish line!"

Besty: "You have been such a rock throughout this whole pregnancy. You're like my Dwayne Johnson."
Isaac: "Thank you."
Besty: "So tonight just focus on yourself. [hands him a present9"
Isaac: "Holy shit! Shrooms. Is this cocaine? We haven't done cocaine for eleven years I don't think."
Besty: "Yeah, no one has. I don't think."
Isaac: "Holy f*ck."

"It's your last Christmas together before the baby comes. Get f*cking wild, you know?"
[to Isaac]

[In a church]
Besty: "How fucked up are you right now"
Isaac: "[shouts out] Hallelur!"
Besty: "It's not that kind of church."
Isaac: "No?"

Isaac: "Who's that guy?"
Besty: "What guy?"
Isaac: "The guy on the cross."
Besty: "Jesus!"
Isaac: "Oh, Jesus! Is that what they think we did to him?"
Besty: "Yeah."
Isaac: "Can they tell I'm Jewish."
Besty: "Yes."
Isaac: "How?"
Besty: "You're fucking sweater!"

Besty: "Don't you dare throw up in here. Swallow it like a girl would."
Isaac: "I need a barf bag!"
Besty: "There's no barf bags! There's no barf bags! Stop it! There's no barf bags in there!"
[Isaac vomits as he stands in the middle of the church, everyone looks horrified]
Besty: "Is it still happening?"
Cindy: "It's still happening a little, yeah."
Isaac: [running and shouting] "We did not kill Jesus! We did not do that!"