Jackie Gleason

"There's no way, NO way that you came from MY loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"

Buford T. Justice: "Nobody, and I mean nobody makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum's pecker!"
Junior: "Except for that..."
Buford T. Justice: "Shut your ass."

Bandit: "You chasin' somebody Sheriff? Somebody chasin' you?"
Buford T. Justice: "Nobody's chasin' me, boy!"

"Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I'm in a goddamn hurry."

Junior: "My hat blew off, daddy."
Buford T. Justice: "I hope your goddamn head was in it."

"I'm gonna barbeque yo' ass in molasses!"

Sheriff Branford: "The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation."
Buford T. Justice: "The goddamn Germans got nothin' to do with it."

Buford T. Justice: "Where are you, you sombitch?"
Bandit: "Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there's just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon dog, 'cause I've been chased by the best of them, and son, you make 'em look like they're all runnin' in slow motion. I just wanna say that."
Buford T. Justice: "Well, thank you, Mr. Bandit. And as the pursuer, may I say you're the goddamnedest pursuee I've ever pursued. Now that the mutual bullshit is over, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU SOMBITCH?"