Craig Robinson

Jerry: "Do you ever have that kind of day where the things that come easy to everyone else just seem so elusive?"
Eloise: "No."
Jerry: "Yeah, me neither."

Frank: "That doesn't make any sense! Why would that do that?"
Firewater: "Uh, because it makes them stronger. Their hunger's insatiable, buddy, I mean, fuck."
Frank: "How do you know all this?"
Mr. Grits: "We're the non-perishables..."

Eloise: "Today will not suck. [coming to Table #19] Hi."
Renzo: "Hello. Oh, my God. Hi, I'm Renzo. I've achieved puberty and I'm in a rock band."
Walter: "I'm Walter and I've also achieved puberty."
Freda Eckberg: "I'm Francie Millner's first nanny."
Jerry: "I can smell the toilets from here, that's how well we know the bride and groom."

"Control is about as real as a one-legged unicorn taling a leak at the end of a double rainbow."

"We're talking about the type of money that makes you question right or wrong."

Eloise: "I'm Eloise. I got dumped by Francie's brother, the best man, back there, table 1."
Jerry: "No, kidding."
Freda: "This is a great table. It's a great one."
Jerry: "No it isn't."
Freda: "Yes."
Jerry: "No, it isn't."

Eloise: "Do you know what Francie's mother called table 19? 'The table that should have known to send regrets, but not before sending something nice off the registry.'"
Freda: "What?"
Eloise: "'The table that could disappear in the middle of the wedding and no one would even notice.'"
Freda: "A table of people they don't care about!"
Jerry: "What the hell are we doing back here?"
Freda: "Let's go."